Imagining / portraying / picturing someone else while having sex with their partner is a form of sexual fantasy. The imagination is purely to arouse desire and for erotic satisfaction. Sexual fantasy is normal within limits. Imagining during the sexual act may not do any harm; but excess will cause marital discord and relationship break.

Sexual fantasies are totally normal. In fact, having sexual fantasies are not only normal but also healthy. A sexual fantasy or erotic imagination is a way of sexual thinking and imagination. It stimulates a person’s sexuality and enhances sexual awareness. Many imagine impossible or improbable things in sex. Sex fantasies are a normal part of the sexual process. Almost all have sexual fantasies. But people are ashamed to talk about them. The whole human race has the mind to go to this track at least a few times.

Daydreaming sexual fantasy is not normal. Till recent researches sexual fantasying was considered as abnormal, unusual and rare. Results of new research of University of Montreal and Philippe-Pinel Institute of Montreal in Quebec Canada in the Journal of Sexual Medicine shed light on the prevalence of sexual fantasy. Many people indulge in sexual fantasies as a regular part of their sex lives. Both men and women imagine fantasies of dominance and submission. Very few sexual fantasies are extraordinary.

Fantasy offers the opportunity to explore sides that we do not necessarily explore in normal life. But it is important to note that imagination is not equal to reality. The content of the sexual fantasies may be deeply connected with personalities and sexual history of that individual. Early erotic / sensual experiences as child or adolescent can ‘stamp’ on the psyche and then come out through the sexual preferences and fantasies.

Quite simply, when imagining another person during sexual act / intercourse, the imagination becomes a reality. In other words, there is no longer an emotional bond with the sexual partner. Instead the sexual partner is replaced mentally by imaginary person. By sexual fantasying sexual desire, curiosity and intensity will all be multiplied. But unfortunately emotional bond and spiritual intimacy is lost. No problem if the sexual fantasy happens occasionally. If sexual fantasying happens again and again and becomes a habit, it can become a real problem in sex life.

If sexual fantasy becomes a habit, the sexual partner may realize it at some point. Gradually their sexual interest fades. Sexual acts will be devoid of any emotional involvement. Sex becomes a just bodily physical activity without any psychological and affectionate bond. In due course sexual life will be lost.

Overall, men have higher sex imagination than women. Most of the women who enjoy sexual fantasies stop with imagination only. They don’t want to implement in real life

There doesn’t have to be any reason for sex fantasies to appear.

Sexual fantasies can be triggered spontaneously. Sexual fantasies can also be triggered by anything that leads to sexual arousal. The external stimuli that cause sexual arousal may be online pornography, sexual literature, physical objects and sexual attraction to a person.

A study found that many people’s sex fantasies are linked to their emotional needs. For example, those who imagine having sex with third person in addition to their sex partner (trio sex) have the tendency of attention seeking. Those who imagine trio sex with two unknown persons have the tendency for adventures.

     Dr. Vijayakumar did his MBBS in Kilpauk Medical College and later went on to Madras Medical College for his Master courses in Clinical Pathology. He underwent masters in Psychology and Yoga. Underwent Fellowship training in Andrology and Clinical Embryology by Prof Ariff Bongso. Did his PhD in Hormones, Yoga and Sexual problems. He has been trained by the Council of Sex Education & Parenthood International (India). He was the first medical professional to start an exclusive clinic for the management of sexual problems in Salem,Tamil Nadu in the year 1988. He has put up more than thirty years experience. He has offered professional help to thousands of persons especially newly married. Besides treating sexual dysfunctions, he is also an expert in treating pre-marital counselling.

Trekking and offroad jeeping are his other passions.