First Night Failure : How to Succeed
Newly married couple may have sexual problems. Common complaints reported by new wed couples are
Mental stress
Physical stress – Exhaustion
Performance anxiety
Fear of pain during intercourse
Lack of emotional connection between couples
Communication problems
Neglect
Postponing it for a long time
Stress
Mental Stress
It’s normal for newlyweds to experience mental stress.
This can be caused by a number of factors.
Transition from single to paired
Partnership formation
Loss of freedom / Independence
Navigating in-law relationships
High expectations
Mismatched expectations
Always looking for happiness
Physical Stress
Another form of stress is due to physical exhaustion. Recently married couple may experience this and become stressed. This in turn can lead to sexual failure in first night.
How to correct stress related failure
The transition from being single to married can be a transformative phase that requires awareness of your needs and expectations.
Communicate properly with life partner. Marriage requires a deeper level of communication. In married life partners should share responsibilities. Talk clearly about dreams for the future. Be clear about your future. Set reality goals. Define shared goals and aspirations for the future. Proper communication will avoid conflicts. This will bind the couple in smooth way.
Be flexible. Learn to adjust and accept that marriage will have highs and lows. One need not to fear of loss of freedom. Be compromised. Favor compromise over criticism and fights. The best way of good family life is trust-building. Focus on trust building and resolving conflicts.
Seek support: Consider premarital counselling. Meet sexology doctor if the couple face problems not solved by themselves.
Fear
Sexual performance anxiety SPA is a type of anxiety. This type of anxiety affects sexual function. It is one of the most common sexual conditions worldwide today. Around 25% of men and around 15% of women suffer from Sexual performance anxiety
This sexual problem is more common in men than women. This will cause erectile dysfunction – difficulty in getting erection and maintaining the erection achieved. Sexual performance anxiety can perpetuate a harmful cycle in which men are paranoid about their sexual performance and experience unsatisfactory sexual difficulties and fear of future performance.
How to correct fear related failure
Stay in the moment during sexual experiences.
Eliminate persistent distractions.
Focus on sensations rather than sexual activity.
If still persists, meet sexology doctor and get corrected.
Fear of pain during intercourse
Some are anxious and afraid of having sex due to fear of pain. Some feel a blocking feel preventing penetration of penis. Some women feel tearing and burning sensation during intercourse. Occasionally few women may have excruciating pain in vagina during intercourse, making tightness in vagina, rarely even the thighs become tight. This condition is called vaginismus.
How to correct intercourse pain
Anxiety caused by some unknown reasons lead to this condition. Mostly it is psychological. The stigma which was wrongly taught or transferred by some wrong concept should be removed. Antianxiety medications will be helpful. Lubricant gel, anaesthetic cream, spray will be of much help.
Speak to partner. Engage in foreplay for longer time to get moisture in vagina which will be a natural lubricant. If still persists, meet sexology doctor and get corrected.
Sexual performance itself caused release of happy hormones like dopamine, endorphin and oxytocin. These happy hormones cause relaxation, promotes well-being and lowers cortisol hormone which is a stress inducing hormone.